Bought your first game. You'll play it someday. Maybe.

Claimed a free game. Financially unstoppable.

Bought a game at 90% off or better.

Paid full price like it's 2007.

Dropped $50+ on a single game. Bold.

Hit a x5 purchase combo without breathing.

Hit a jackpot. The house always wins — wait.

Wallet dropped below $5. Add Funds beckons.

Spent over $250 total. Gabe thanks you personally.

“Saved” over $100. That's how money works, right?

Bought a game between midnight and 5am.

5 games owned. Games played: pending.

10 games. You'll get to them after this sale.

25 games. Escape is no longer possible.

50 games. Your portrait now hangs in Valve HQ.

100 games. Achievement unlocked, sunlight locked.

Bought every single game on the Summer Sale. Shelves: empty. Gabe: retired.

Paid a price ending in .69. You know what you did.

Spent your very last cent, to the penny. Surgical.

Bought an entire game for under a dollar.

x10 purchase combo. The cashier is concerned.

Bought a game between 5 and 8am. Still up, or up already?

Bought a game at exactly 4:20. Pure coincidence, surely.

Bought a game with a number in the title. Innovation is dead.

Bought a game with a colon in the title: the mark of true cinema.

Bought a game whose title needs its own loading screen.

Claimed three free games. Gabe felt that one.

Smashed Add Funds five times. It's not real money anyway.

Bought a game while 10+ others sat waiting in the cart.

Spent $1,000 total. Your landlord is typing…